[This is not what he meant at all, and when Carter moves away and then gets up to pace, Scott feels worse than ever. He never meant it to come out like that. He can see now how it sounded, but fuck.
He feels more vulnerable sitting her naked than he ever has before in his life. Pulling his legs in, he curls his arms around them, uncertain how to make it better.]
That's not what I meant, Carter. I mean... I mean I love you. I have for a little bit, and I didn't think it was the right time to say it yet. I know you care about me. I know you care about me a lot. I didn't mean that you don't.
I'm not trying to put anything on you. I didn't meant for it to feel that way. It's my fault for not knowing how to communicate things properly. I need to learn better. I don't know how to ask, because things always just happened before, and I need to figure out how to. That's all on me, you're right. None of this is you at all. I didn't mean to say that it was, or invalidate any of your feelings.
I wasn't saying we needed to have sex either if that's what you're thinking, not that I'm against it. I was only talking about doing other things. I don't want to push things, like I said. I don't know. I'm curious. I don't know how to ask, because I've never done anything, and I'm fucking nervous about everything and every time you touch me it feels so good, that I only care abut that and it's hard. I'm need to get over being nervous to talk about this part of sex with you when we're in the middle of doing things. I feel like I should be happy with everything I have, and I am. See, this is my brain ... It's ... frustrating.
[He bites his lip, and does his best to hold onto the pain in his chest because Scott is shit at confrontation with people he cares deeply about. He's good at asking for forgiveness, but this part is the hardest and he always fumbles because his heart sits throbbing in his chest and he doesn't always know the best things to say.]
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rosecarmine
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Date: 2024-04-21 05:54 pm (UTC)He feels more vulnerable sitting her naked than he ever has before in his life. Pulling his legs in, he curls his arms around them, uncertain how to make it better.]
That's not what I meant, Carter. I mean... I mean I love you. I have for a little bit, and I didn't think it was the right time to say it yet. I know you care about me. I know you care about me a lot. I didn't mean that you don't.
I'm not trying to put anything on you. I didn't meant for it to feel that way. It's my fault for not knowing how to communicate things properly. I need to learn better. I don't know how to ask, because things always just happened before, and I need to figure out how to. That's all on me, you're right. None of this is you at all. I didn't mean to say that it was, or invalidate any of your feelings.
I wasn't saying we needed to have sex either if that's what you're thinking, not that I'm against it. I was only talking about doing other things. I don't want to push things, like I said. I don't know. I'm curious. I don't know how to ask, because I've never done anything, and I'm fucking nervous about everything and every time you touch me it feels so good, that I only care abut that and it's hard. I'm need to get over being nervous to talk about this part of sex with you when we're in the middle of doing things. I feel like I should be happy with everything I have, and I am. See, this is my brain ... It's ... frustrating.
[He bites his lip, and does his best to hold onto the pain in his chest because Scott is shit at confrontation with people he cares deeply about. He's good at asking for forgiveness, but this part is the hardest and he always fumbles because his heart sits throbbing in his chest and he doesn't always know the best things to say.]